There are problems I can’t solve.

What happens when I face with problems I can’t solve.

Quite simply I cry. I show emotion and saddness. I would also ask “why me?”. This is my true self that I don’t normally show people. I show regret, disappointment, sometime even anger (very rare). I like to hide this from people (sometime from myself too). There is normally just me. (quite often in the shower! and in the dark!)

This is how I deal with negative emotion. I shut out all my senses and be alone in the dark. I don’t need anyone. All I need is myself to myself.

What normally happens is that I absorb all these emotions and would be fresh in the morning to fight another day!

I feel embrassed telling everyone. Right now I am asking myself whether telling others would help me.

I sometime really don’t understand myself. It is like I am making it up as I go along.

At the end of the day, I just have to accept there are problems I can’t solve.

Can’t solve it at this moment anyway. I will remember to come back to it one day.

PS I know it might not be meaningful to you. I wrote this post because this is my blog, and it is about the real me.

Demotivate the Motivators

If I was the motivator, who motivates me.

If I was the organiser, who organises me.

If I was the leader, who leads me.

If I was the cheer leader, who cheers me.

If I was the trainer, who trains me.

If I encourage people, who encourage me.

I never give up, but for the first time, I am losing the will to fight.

Just look around you and ask yourself have you done enough for people around you.

Stop thinking YOUSELF for once, just question yourself, have you help, support even talk to other people enough.

We are who we are, but we are also what other people think who we are.

(I need a cleaner! see previous post on Hygiene Level)